Ill Regret 2
by wild-angelz1
Summary: Here is the sequel to Ill Regret in Yuki's POV. Sometimes its hard to accept the death of someone you loved and just realized it. Read Review and if you don't like do not continue to read it. Thank you and enjoy.


Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any of the lyrics used in this fic.

This is the sequel to Ill Regret in Yuki's POV. Hopefully everyone will like this one as much as they liked the first. It is rated T for the song and mild words, but if those feel like it should be rated M let me now so I can change it and I don't get in trouble. Well here we go.

* * *

The apartment was dark and cold. If someone stepped in, they felt the chill down to their soul. This place was no longer a home. But a house of the dead, a tomb. No lights shinned and no life showed. As you walked along the hallway you see on the floor a large dried stain. What was once a puddle of blood. If you opened the door you would see a bathroom that was once pristine and pure. Now it looked like a scene out of a horror movie. Blood coated the floor as a dark red carpet. There were splatters of blood on the walls, mirror, and bathtub. Inside you feel the sadness deep within and your heart hurting as though it was being stabbed. In this room a pure soul had took his life, Shuichi Shindou committed suicide.

Now you walk out and continue down, you reach a study room. A desk was in the middle with a laptop on that was now closed. Along the other side of the room was a bookshelf filled with books and a lush, leather couch right next to it. But this room wasn't empty. Beneath the window on one wall was a man hunched over as his body shook with dry sobs. This man was Yuki Eiri Uesugi, the lover of Shuichi, well once lover. Beside him was a bottle of beer. And in his hands was a gun.

*Yuki's POV *

I can't believe it. He's dead, he died. *sobs* Why? Why? Why did it have to be him? The one person I've come to love and I let him slip away from me. I knew he was hiding something from me. The past few months he was becoming more depressed. I knew something was wrong, and yet *sob* and yet I did nothing. I thought everything would be okay, that he would bounce back.

" So now your feelin' like your healin' and you are the queen

Everythings perfect and worth it your life don't miss a thing

When you sniff it get lifted your on top of the world

But whens it's distant you missed it the helpless little girl

You takin' money from your family cause you cold and desperate

With no money your just a junkie but you won't accept it

You won't slow down until you end up dead or get arrested

I'd give you my heart with the diamonds encrusted "

I didn't think that he would do that, never in a million years did I think he would attempt something like that. I would have rather him got addicted to anything but cutting and suicide, hell even cocaine was better than cutting. At least *sobs* he would be alive.

"It all starts with the person that your with

Anticipation as your waiting for another sniff

What some consider pain others consider a gift

They say the care about you but they don't care about shit

As your blood stream is flooding with something you've never felt

Find yourself trapped in a hell, nobody else

But I love you like I can, understand that I'm the man that took the stand and took your hand and tried to help you but once again you had a way(a way)

When I still had so much more to say

So now I pound my head and wait for my soul to take

I guess some things were just supposed to change

As you shakin' and bleedin', drippin' and sniffin' the Cocaine"

*laughing hysterically* I guess I should have seen something coming. It was all my fault. He gave and I took and never gave back. I was always a bastard to him. I always kicked him out. I called him names, called him useless and was nothing more than a toy on more than one occasion. I can honestly say its my fault, for everything. I drove him to commit suicide. I destroyed the one good thing in my life. The one that said you won't miss it until it was gone was dead right. *sobs* I didn't even get the chance to say I loved him at all.

"So now your feelin' like your healin and you are the queen

Everythings perfect and worth it your life don't miss a thing

When you sniff it get twistid your on top of the world

But whens it's distant you missed it the helpless little girl

You takin' money from your family cause you cold and desperate

With no money your just a junkie but you won't accept it

You won't slow down until you end up dead or get arrested

I'd give you my heart with the diamonds encrested(encrested) "

I fucked up everything in my life, haven't I? I bet Yuki Kitazawa is laughing at me from the grave. I deserved everything I got. But Shuichi did not deserve it. He was so innocent and happy, yet I destroyed that. Ha, I wish that Hiro did kill me. But life seems to hate me.

"The search for answers have left us with mo questions

We are showed the lives but learn no lessons

I pray to God and I ask him for some mo blessin's

But it seems all the world wants to do is escape the stressin'

Above you can struggle with love will leave in unimpressed an'

Cocaine and things enter your brain your body straight infested

With such a sick, a sick death won't let you live a day

With no escape afraid to look your problems in the face

No matter how bad you hurt the ones around you or yourself

Your mind and soul(soul) is trapped inside the wishing well

And then you claim it ain't no thang and that you ain't insane

Shakin' and bleedin', drippin' and sniffin' the Cocaine "

I wish things could have been different. There was so much I should have done and said. Soo much, and yet I did nothing, except make things worse. We were always fighting, and I can say that I started all of them. I was such a dick, why didn't you leave me before it got too late? Why didn't I notice anything before it was too late?

"So now your feelin' like your healin' and you are the queen

Everythings perfect and worth it your life don't miss a thing

When you sniff it get lifted your on top of the world

But whens it's distant you missed it the helpless little girl

You takin' money from your family cause you cold and desperate

With no money your just a junkie but still you won't accept it

You won't slow down until you end up dead or get arrested

I'd give you my heart with the diamonds encrested(encrested) "

*laughs and sobs* Yet I can still remember everything from the beginning. From when we met, to every fight, every date, every laugh, every tear. Looking back I realize how messed up our relationship was. And I still wish I can go back and hold you close. That I could say I love you and gave you everything you deserve.

"Another night that you try to go to sleep

My eyes drip to the sky I cry and I weep

At the thought of you, so cold and alone, the anger it brings me is too much for a song

Cause I wish nothing more then for you to be ok

For my blood to overcome, fuck I wish it everyday

As I begged and I begged until my integrity vanished

The many times I bleeded for you put me in a panic

I know that when your done there will be nothing left

But a shell held bent on Cocaine and Meth

All I ask of you now is that you take a fucking step

Back to relax, understand and then accept"

I can still remember the time ASK got a hold of you, how I beat the hell out of them. I should have been there for you more. Been more considerate and caring. Ask you how your day was and other tiny stuff. Soo much regret and I can still not regret meeting you. I just regret losing you.

"That you were more important to me then my own life

I loved you much more than the stars and the sky

I know that when you think of me you wished I'd fuckin' die

I know you lay alone in bed and ask God why

All I can tell you is that the one reason's the same

I wake up every morning with suicide on my brain

Angry is so packed and faith made things change

I lost my thought with a drug named Cocaine"

I loved you, loved you more than life. I still do, that's why I'm ending this pathetic life. Maybe, just maybe we can start over in another life. I love you Shuichi. Now I must come join you because I realize that I cannot live without you. I'll see you soon Shu. Wait for me.

*End of Yuki's POV*

And with final sobs, the man looked up his, golden eyes dark and determined. Looking around one last time, he saw reached for the picture frame and held the gun to his head. "I love you Shu."…..BAM

Quiet now rings through the apartment. As the man's body falls down dead, a smile appears on his face.

* * *

So here is the sequel to. Real angsty isn't it. The song is called Cocaine by AMB, a really good song so everyone should check it out. I don't know why but this song seemed perfect to me. I guess cause it sums up a lot of problems that Yuki and Shuichi had. Still I thought it fit in nicely with Yuki's thoughts. And with final words, don't take for granted those you have, because you may lose them or worst. So love those in your life. Adios.

P.S. I will be updating I Tried to Make You Happy soon.


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